tional efficiency, and concentrate on governance and compliance through the direct man-

agement and explicit control of content.”

This is not bad copywriting per se, it’s just heavy-handed. It’s technically correct, but the

cacophony of big words wearies the brain. Here is the same message, but with lighter, sim-

plified text:

Example 1 (edited): “Our software introduces new ways to organize your corporation’s

many kinds of content, increasing employee efficiency and helping to meet compliance

regulations. The software can be installed locally in your company, or hosted through our

datacenter.”

The message is still there, but the delivery is not as dense.

Example 2: “A person-centric architecture is at the core of our products. Whether imple-

mented into an enterprise system or interfaced as a particularized solution, our laboratory

software offers unparalleled functional competence.”

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WEB DESIGN AND MARKETING SOLUTIONS FOR BUSINESS WEBSITES

The second example is tougher, because while the sentence is long and uses colorful

ords like erson-centricnd nterfacedit’s not actually saying too much. Here’s a possi-

wpa i,

ble revision:

Example 2 (edited): “Our products, built with the user in mind, help make your laboratory

more efficient.”

It’s not particularly mind-blowing, but it’s about the best we can do with such thin raw

material.

Example 3: “Leverage the power of ever-increasing interconnected media channels by

inspecting them through a marketing lens. This integrative archetype affords businesses a

new context proven for retooling marketers to rethink clients working in a rewired

market.”

This final example is just bad copy. The writer is trying way too hard, and the final text is a

plate of syrupy mush lacking any kind of intellectual nutrition. The message is there, and

it’s fairly simple once all the layers of language are peeled away:

Example 3 (edited): “Using a combination of marketing media, you can reach new

customers.”